


Shopping Is Therapeutic, Just Not With An Eleven-Year-Old Assassin

by HuiLian



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Christmas Shopping, Fluff, Gen, Shopping, just a bit I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 23:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17171303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuiLian/pseuds/HuiLian
Summary: Steph and Damian went Christmas shopping. While they were at it, maybe Steph can teach a thing or two to Damian. Maybe.





	Shopping Is Therapeutic, Just Not With An Eleven-Year-Old Assassin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlmondRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmondRose/gifts).



> Always love Steph and Damian being Steph and Damian! Hope you enjoy this, AlmondRose!

"Come on, Damian! If we don't go now, we're going to be stuck with the mob! Come on!"

"All right, Brown. I am ready to go."

Steph looked up to Damian coming down from the stairs. The grand staircase, because Wayne Manor is a freaking Manor. And boy, it was grand. The boy walking down, however, was not.

"Okay, no. No way you're going out with me dressed like that." She pointed back to the stairs. "Get back up, change out of that suit."

Damian had the audacity to glare at her. Seriously, what kind of eleven-year-old dresses in a two-piece suit just to go out to buy Christmas presents?

(Damian, her mind supplied. Shut up, mind.)

"Well? What are you waiting for?"

"There is no reason for me to change, Brown. At least _I_ did not find any."

"Oh, for god's sake, Damian! Dress like a real boy for once, will you?" Steph threw her hands in the air. 

"Tt." Damian, the little bastard, glared at her. But then he said, "And how does one 'dress like a real boy'?"

Oh no. Now that urchin made her sad. Okay, breathe, Steph. You can do this. "Sweaters, jeans, sweatpants, or even a hoodie, Damian! Come on, you have gone out with Dick before, haven't you?"

"Tt." Oh, Steph was going to break him of that habit one day. But that day was not today, because today Steph was breaking him of the habit of dressing like he was going to go to a board meeting. One habit a day was enough, thank you. "Fine. I will return shortly."

While Damian went up to change into 'real boy clothes', Steph re-read the list both Babs and Dick have given her. Apparently, both of them were 'too busy' to go Christmas shopping, so they tasked her and Damian to do it. Too busy, her ass. They were probably having a good time without having any distractions. Distractions, as in Damian. Their solution? Making her babysit Damian. Her! The horror!   


But they did give her the Wayne credit card to go shopping with, and they practically gave her free reign to do with it what she will, so. Maybe she'll do it, just this once. 

A coffee machine, a camera set, a pair of boots, oh damn it. They were going to have to spend the day at the mall, weren't they? This list would take her from one end of the mall to the other. Damn it. 

(Maybe Babs and Dick did it on purpose? Oh hell. Maybe they did.)

"Damian!" She hollered up after a few minutes. "Are you ready yet?!" The kid couldn't have taken up that long to change. 

"Tt. I am ready, Brown. Now shall we begin this trip?" 

At least now he had a hoodie on, instead of that suit. He still had the suit pants on, though. Oh well. One thing at a time. 

"Sure, kid. Let's go." Is it futile to hope that this trip won't be a disaster? 

***

"Damian! Come on, squirt!"

No answer. They were just here to get the coffee machine, but it was not that easy with Damian, was it? The kid had to go off on his own and make Steph scour the store for him.

She should have guessed. That kid was in the knife area of the home improvement store. She really should have guessed. It was _Damian_.

"Damian! Stop ogling the knife!”

“I was not ogling the knife, Brown. I was creating plans to use them in a defensive situation.”

Steph very pointedly did _not_ roll her eyes. No, sire, she did not.

Steph started to drag the sulking kid -He was only sulking now, instead of screaming revenge. How far they have come. Can you catch the sarcasm?-  away from the knife section of the store. Then she heard singing.

Christmas carols. It had been years since she actually heard someone singing carols. They brought up memories that Steph preferred not to remember. Going door to door, singing carols to ask for donations for the Girl Scouts. Going to the mall with Mom when her life was still intact. Having an actual Christmas celebration with her parents. It was heaven. It was hell.

“What are they singing?” Damian asked. The question hit Steph in the face. It reminded her that the kid probably never heard of Christmas carols before coming to Gotham. Growing up in a military compound out in the desert was not really a supporting environment to being exposed to Christmas songs.

God. The kid probably did not know anything about Christmas traditions.

Steph may have had a terrible childhood, what with having a villain for a dad, but the kid probably had it worse. Steph decided then that she was going to teach Christmas traditions to the kid, whatever the cost. And knowing Damian, she may probably end up being maimed or worse. Oh well. Worth it.

“Come on, kid. Let’s listen to them singing. Maybe exposure to kids your age will be a good thing.”

They were already going to have to spend the entire day at the mall anyway, no harm in taking a few minutes to listen to kids singing carols, right? And if Damian spent the next fifteen minutes listening to the carols with a thoughtful expression, it was only Steph who knows.

***

“What is that commotion near the elevators?”

“Hmm?” Steph took a moment to look up from the list. “Oh. It’s the Santa thingy.”

“Santa thingy?” Steph could hear the frown in the kid’s voice. Right. Raised in a military compound. The kid probably never even heard of Santa.

“You know Santa, right?” It couldn’t hurt to ask.

“Of course I know Santa. I’m not an imbecile, Brown.”

“Uh huh. So. Who is Santa?”

Silence. Of course.

“You’ll probably need to fact-check this, or ask Dick for further information. And I’m not going to repeat myself, okay squirt?” Steph looked at Damian. The kid was not meeting her eyes. Oh well. Dick could answer any questions the kid might have after her _very_ brief explanation about Santa. “Santa Claus, I think he was actually a saint? He gave presents to some poor family, I don’t know. The point is that he would bring gifts and presents to kids on Christmas, but only if they were good the year before. A myth, I know. But kids these days still believe in them, so what can I say?”

“Tt. A worthless myth.”

“Nah, not really worthless. It kept kids in line. I know it worked, ‘cause it worked on me.”

A huff of amusement came out of Damian. “Do not tell me you believed in Santa, Brown.”

“Hey!” Steph pretended to be outraged. “He gave me presents. It would not do to doubt people who gave you presents.”

“Tt.”

“Oh, come on. Like you would doubt it when you were little.”

“Unlike you, Brown, I was raised to be logical. A strange man bearing presents? Highly illogical.”

“But having a grandfather who is at least a thousand years old is logical?” Steph deadpanned.

“I have proof of his age, so yes, it is logical.”

“I have proof of presents on Christmas mornings!”

“Tt. As I said, illogical.” Damian did that _thing_ with this face that he looked every inch the spoiled prince he was. And that he looked every inch the child soldier his mother trained him to be.

This would not do. So Steph went to the most effective weapon in her arsenal. Teasing.

“So you don’t want presents for Christmas? After all, presents on Christmas mornings are ‘illogical’.”

“I did not say that!” Ah, now that face was gone. That was better.

“Wait in line with the other kids, Damian. You’re getting the whole American experience of Santa Claus today.” While saying that, Steph pushed the kid towards the commotion, as he so called it.

“What?!”

“Go on. Or I’ll tell Dick you’re not being a good kid, and you know he believes in the whole ‘Santa only gives gifts to the good kids’ thing. You might not get your presents.” It was an empty threat, because Dick would give presents to Damian no matter what, what with him never experiencing Christmas and all, but it was a good threat to make. Damian wouldn’t know.

“I will get you back for this, Brown.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’ll get your revenge for this, blah blah blah. Now get in line.”

If the photo of a sulking Damian in Santa’s lap ended up in the family’s photo album, Steph’s album for blackmail, Babs’ album for ridiculous things, and Alfred’s private album, well, that was not Steph’s fault. No sire. Not Steph’s fault at all.

***

“So, what will you give Dick for Christmas?” It was an innocent enough question. The kid loved Dick, even though he showed it in a weird way. But who didn’t in this family?

“Am I supposed to give Grayson a gift for Christmas? He did not ask for one.” What. Is this kid for real?

“He’s not going to ask for presents, Damian!” Steph tried to raise her hands, but found that she couldn’t due to the abundance of shopping bags hanging on her arm. She settled with giving Damian an incredulous look. “You’re supposed to give it to him!”

Damian frowned at her. “I did not know that.”

“You still have, let’s see, five days until Christmas Morning. Think up of something.”

It was a while before Damian spoke up again. “And what would you suggest I gave him?”

Shit. Steph was not prepared for this. This is way, way, beyond her pay grade. She just wanted to teach the kid some Christmas traditions, for god’s sake, not helping him sort out his feelings towards his brother-slash-parental figure.

“What does he enjoy?” Something Dick enjoys should be neutral territory. Neutral territory is good. Yes. This is good.

“He… Actually, I do not know. Other than the trapeze and ‘flying’, in his words.”

Steph did not know either. She had never actually interacted that much with Dick outside the whole capes business.

One thing she did know about Dick Grayson, though. He loved his family, either blood, adopted, or the people he considers family. And he loved this little bastard more than just about anything in the world.

“Well, what can you do that can create presents?”

“I can… solve his cases?” Christ. This kid. He’s really Bruce Wayne’s son, wasn’t he?

“No, that’s not it, Damian.” A memory sprung up on Steph’s mind. “Hey. You draw, don’t you?”

“Yes?”

“Draw him something. I’m sure he’ll love it.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You made it. He’ll love it.”

Damian ducked his head. For once, Steph decided not to tease him about the blush forming on his face.

***

“Can we go back, now? We must have bought all of the items in your list, Brown.” It was times like this that remind Steph that despite all his posturing, Damian really is just an eleven-year-old kid.

“Okay, Damian. Just one more thing to buy.”

“One more?”

“Yup. But you have to wait here.”

The confused look on Damian’s face was priceless. “Why do I have to wait here, Brown?”

“Because this one’s for you, kid.” Okay, she was wrong.  The face Damian made _now_ is priceless. “I don’t want to have to go back here just to get your present.”

For once, Steph managed to get Damian speechless. Sweet, sweet victory. Now to make this occurrence happen in a regular basis…

 “Why can’t I know it now? I’ll found out anyway.” Ah, there’s the bratty voice again. Well, that was nice while it lasted.

“Presents are opened on Christmas morning, Damian. I can’t believe Dick neglected that part of your education.”

Damian looked at her as if she had insulted him. Knowing Damian and his ‘bond’ with Dick, he probably thought Steph’s remark a mortal insult to Dick, and thus, being a good brother, Damian would have to avenge him.

“Just stay here, okay? Only for a few minutes. Don’t go anywhere.” Then Steph ran. Couldn’t have the kid spoiling the present.

“Brown! Come back here!” Damian’s screams could be heard echoing across the halls of the mall. But he didn’t try to follow, so Steph considered it a win.

She would make a real boy out of Damian, eventually.

***

 

**Author's Note:**

> check out my tumblr - if it hasn't collapsed yet (huilian.tumblr.com)


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